The Wheels on the Bus of Life, Don’t Go Round n Round

Sometimes they get stuck in the mud, a life loop, forcing you to take a new scenic route to your next destination.

Prior to November 2015, my life was golden. The ride had been smooth and fulfilling, amazing family and friends, pursuing my dreams, in a fulfilling career, traveling all over the world…never a dull moment. Working in the entertainment industry had been my dream since I was a kid. I loved everything about it; I was mesmerized by all the behind the scenes and how movies and television were made...and the celebrities too. Growing up in a small southern town, I could never imagine how that dream would come to true. When my family moved to Las Vegas the summer of my sophomore year of high school, my path redirected getting me closer towards my dreams.

After graduation, I went to college, majoring in film studies and minoring in psychology, both loves of mine. But, at that age living in Las Vegas, working, making money, and enjoying life as a college student, school eventually got pushed to the back of the bus. I didn’t want to waste any more time, so I moved to LA to make my dreams happen. No job, just a studio apartment, ambition and a dream. My first job in LA was entertainment adjacent and that was good enough for me. That start eventually led me to the company I would invest my blood, sweat, and tears in for the next 20 years.

Life, of course, had its ups and downs, but for the most part, it was a smooth ride with a few bumps in the road.

Then came the detour. While driving back to Los Angeles on Cyber Monday, 2015, I got a call, my writing partner of many years was in the hospital with a near life ending illness. That call shook my foundation. After weeks in the hospital and many blood transfusions, she was released with a clean bill of health, it was an early Christmas miracle.

Two weeks later, on December 15th, my oldest best friend, my sister in everything but blood, called to tell me she had cancer. I listened in shock, my mind racing to process the words, “I have cancer.” We had just had brunch a few weeks ago while I was home for Thanksgiving. She looked amazing, healthy, far younger than her years and still full of energy. After hanging up, I broke down in my edit bay, wailing and praying.

After composing myself, I booked a rental car for the next morning. I had to see her, lay eyes on her, give her a hug, let her know, we were going to beat this together. I would be right by her side every step of the way.

Little did I know that drive to her, another big pothole was about to lead to another emotional blow. I shared the news with my other best friend, who loved her deeply and would have traded me in as a best friend for her in a second, if he could have. A week later, he called and made me swear not to share what he was about to tell me, he had been diagnosed with testicular cancer. He made me promise again not to tell her because he didn’t want to add to her stress. I did as he asked and was devastated, the two people closest to me were in the battle of their lives. In less than a month, both my best friends had cancer diagnoses and were fighting for their lives. My entire world felt unrecognizable.

Lost in emotion and trying to process everything, I focused on my work and impossible post-production deadlines. That time of year was always chaotic and grueling, sixteen hour days, seven days a week, but the additional stress of cancer diagnoses and trips to the hospital, broke me down. What I thought was the flu turned out to be pneumonia. The bus had taken an unplanned off-ramp. Surely, 2016 would be better.

By January 29th, I received the news, everyone I loved was cancer free. I was still recovering from pneumonia, but life finally seemed to be getting back on track, or so I thought. On February 8th, a pit stop I never saw coming, the company where I’d built my career, won two Emmys, made lifelong friends and memories, laid me off after almost twenty years. As frustrated and disappointed as I was, I welcomed the break. It gave me the opportunity to rest from the constant grind of eighty-hour workweeks, illness, and burnout, and to be there for my friends as they continued on their healing journeys.

I re-booked the Italy trip I had postponed to help my friends thinking, I could take my time job hunting. With my resume and connections, I had fostered over the years, work would come easily. It didn’t. Not even close. Every call, every lead turned into an empty promise or dead end.

This last decade has brought challenges and tests I would not wish upon my worst enemy. The loss of a life I loved, the struggle to hold on to people, places, and things; watching everything I’d worked for fade like an old photograph took a toll on my body and spirit. The dreams I had turned into my reality were turning into distant memories. Life is funny, with its twist and turns, detours, potholes, stalls, bald and flat tires, I never gave up, I refused. Prayer, faith, family, and amazing friends kept me going.

Fast forward to September 2025, I got a new job, far removed from the life I once lived, the life I loved. Honestly, I hate it. But one of its few perks is tuition assistance, and that was an answered prayer. Excited, I met with a college advisor and set the wheels in motion to finish my degree in psychology. 

I hadn’t been inside a classroom for decades. Going back to school after decades of life is intimidating. Real world thinking doesn’t always align with textbooks. Now a woman of a certain age and energy level, a full-time caregiver to a parent, I have to wonder, have I bitten off more than I can chew?

I’ll keep you posted. For now, I have a test to study for and work tomorrow.